The Contents Post Because it's become apparent that I am going to need one. For years this journal was full of fic featuring a single pairing in a single fandom because I'm boring like that, so it was easy enough to navigate by the memories, but now I have *two*three (!) omg four!! pairings in *two*three four fandoms! omg the confusion!
This isn't a complete list because archiving all that FMA stuff will probably take as long as writing it did. If you vaguely remember something I wrote but you don't know what it is because it's all so damn samey, comment and I'll try to remember it (I totally found fic I'd forgotten I'd ever written while doing this; hey, I *did* put Roy in one of those uniforms!) <3
This is just a very quick note to say that I am still alive, despite disappearing for *checks* over three months good going me! Sorry. Got ill again and term started and it was just very hard to recover. I know I owe comments, I'll try to get back to you <3 Even writing a little, a sentence at a time on three very long fics I decided to write all at the same time excellent going me again.
And if you wonder why I can never find a cosy home in fandom: I just vanished for more than three months because everything hurt and the only thing I was doing was sleeping and obeying my supervisor because apparently work matters too, who knew. But I hope you've all been keeping well! And if I'm too swamped to say anything over the holiday - have a very happy Christmas and the most fabulous of New Years, have a whisky and think of me, I'll keep you all in my thoughts <3 Hopefully back soon!
Hey up, straw poll: If Crowley took to wearing some 'wanky little necklace' because he likes moving with the times but god love him does not exactly hit the cutting edge of fashion when he does it, what do you think he'd wear on it? I am considering charms and the options are many and it seems uninspired to just go with a snake though it's likely =/
Writing something set a few years in the future (I do not want to be writing a sequel to But Thou Readst Black but my brain and I disagree about fucking everything apparently) so of course Crowley has reworked his hair and wardrobe by then. Aziraphale looks identical to how he looked in the sixties, thank you Aziraphale for being no bother at all in that respect.
Slowly working through responding to the very lovely replies I received to the fandom call for help, please bear with my arms, and thank you all very much indeed for taking the time anyway =)
One of the things I missed most about fandom was interacting with people - getting to virtually hug people and sob about how amazing these characters are is like, the best bit of fandom. But around me right now I've got crickets. And I really really really love these characters and want to do the happy-sobbing in company. And I'm considering my options a bit, though I feel a bit anxious in them.
I suspect that Livejournal and Dreamwidth are a bit dead, and I don't know if that's true or if just no-one likes my writing and thus doesn't come by here so I *think* it's dead (legit; no-one's obliged to come by here or like anything I post, and it won't stop me writing, I've had no more than half a dozen readers in years, it's a mutual no foul). I've been away for so long I genuinely don't know where you go on these sites to find other people anymore, oops. But maybe there are communities on here? I don't know. I have pretty epic anxiety about going out into fandom spaces, as people who've known me for a while probably already know. The kind of anxiety that makes me physically ill. Which brings me onto the second option apart from just finding some damn people where I already am:
Tumblr! I don't think it's for me. For one thing I would have to have a fandom blog as a *secondary* tumblr (I do have one, for - well, art and craft objects, which is my day job; it's only for personal reference and I don't interact with anyone), which is pretty awkward for a fanfic blog. Also I sometimes post porn, which is a problem on tumblr. Also I really, really, really don't like fandom tumblr, I don't like tumblr culture in general, I'm sure it's fun if you don't have crippling anxiety but the way some people talk and treat each other on there - nope. Big massive nope. Anxiety goes straight to my stomach and I puke for a week without sleeping, I don't think it's for me. Third option:
Ao3 is so big it also raises the anxiety to pretty awful levels, as though it would give me access to a lot of people, it's too many people ^^; Also I'm aware that if I ever posted anything on there I'd likely get a deluge of anonymi asking me to put all my old stuff up on there and lol I have ME I'm in pain typing this I'm in pain every fucking moment of the day and I sleep like Crowley, I can barely manage what I'm doing here and now, do not ask me to do what is to me ancient admin; that fic is where it is and staying where it is. Ao3 is just too big, it's too intimidating a space. So my option four is:
Guys, where else is there? What are the medium level fanspaces nowadays? Where can you hang out and it's chill and you get to purr over how much you love the characters you love with people but *everyone in the universe* isn't already there?
I'm an old lady and ill and very, very tired, and the internet is just baffling to me nowadays. I miss fandom but I don't know if I'm cut out for it anymore when I see some of the ways it shapes itself now. I feel old. And tired. I feel like all the angels and demons are excited for the apocalypse starting and I just want the world to carry on as it is so I can go to bed with my book at the end of the day. Not entirely helpful metaphor. But if anyone can answer any of the vague questions above, do let me know? The best part of fandom is its people, when they're being their best, and I do appreciate every person who *has* commented on my fic, it's always lovely for makers to know that the thing they made has made someone else happy. Thank you, for the quietly angelic act of reaching out, which is always, always appreciated <3
Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please, a Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale bless them <3
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters for which we should all be pleased because I never could be trusted with them, look how horrible I am to them =/
Rating: I'd say R just for some serious nastiness around the concept of consent
Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series (apart from a jaunt to sixteenth-century England), watch that first. This fic contains some pretty gross shitfuckery around the notion of consent due to a fucking incubus. I ship those two asexual, which particularly in the smut-heavy medium of fanfic is a sometimes painful place to work from, given the expectations and judgements of the world we live in. Basically: If you want to have sex, great, lovely, more power to you, be kind and be safe and have fun. If you don't want to have sex, great, lovely, more power to you, be kind and be safe and have fun. Just never try to make someone else do the one you don't want to (that very much goes for manipulation as well as physical force) and don't judge them for their choices because it is not okay or cool.
Summary: In which an incubus has an eye on promotion, Crowley does not know how to say no to a certain angel's lip-wobble, and Aziraphale doesn't know how to say no to a certain demon at all.
But Thou Readst Black Where I Read White part III of III, a Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale <3
Disclaimer: I disclaim! I own nothing and it would just be *mean* to sue. I also disclaim my own inept structuring that has made every chapter of this twice as long as the previous chapter \o/
Rating: NC-17 for that strong bloody violence that I really do want to stress is in this part.
Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series, watch that first. Right, as I said on part one, I only wrote this stupid thing to get this horrific image I had out of my head so again, this fic contains what they refer to on TV as strong bloody violence. It doesn't happen onscreen, as it were, but most of this chapter is dealing with the aftermath of it and swear to god if you don't want to deal with it that's entirely cool, I fully intend to write some (very *short*) fluff after this myself <3
Summary: 'You don't want to get Gabriel upset with you.'
*Epically* too long for Livejournal, read it (here).
But Thou Readst Black Where I Read White part I of III, a Good Omens fic, Crowley/Aziraphale bless them and yes I'm still on the Blake kick bite me <3
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and I disclaim half this fucking fic, I'm only writing it to get some of these images out of my head o_0
Rating: NC-17 for a little bit of angel/demon smut (Not Crowley and Aziraphale! Just because I ship them asexual doesn't mean other angels and demons have to be) but mostly for some really - I mean really very very unpleasant violence in the later parts.
Warnings and spoilers: Set post-series, watch that first. Brief mention of domestic violence. And to reiterate the above: I'm only writing this stupid thing to get this horrific image I had out of my head and done, so again, this fic contains what they refer to on TV as strong bloody violence in later parts. First part's pretty fluffy though ^^;
Summary: In which everyone is rather more hung up than they ought to be on the colour of wings.